Rainy Day Thoughts

Today was one of those dreary rainy days where it rains from the morning to the evening without stopping. Not a thunderstorm, but a steady cold drizzle. The perfect kind of day for sharing coffee with a friend and baking orange rolls. And thinking about what to write next on our blog. I kept waiting to update until I had something concrete to share, but then I remembered that one of my reasons for starting this blog was my curiosity about how others have gone from points A to Z and all the steps in between. (In regards to adoption) So here we are at step A and a half. Apparently the first thing to do is to decide where to adopt from before you can really contact an agency and begin the mountains of paperwork and monies involved. The options are international, domestic (where you are chosen by a pregnant mother to be her child's family) and adoption from foster care. We do know that we are thinking an older child--as long as they are younger than Chloe (6) so that rules out the domestic. This is where we are stuck.

If international-where? I wanted to adopt from Romania, but they are closed to international adoptions now. We looked into Afganistan, but that's out because sharia law forbids non muslims from adopting their children.

A few weeks ago I spent a couple of hours on a Sunday looking through the Texas foster care system. We are specifically looking for an older than baby, because we know that most adoptees request babies. And the older one often get overlooked. I was scrolling through the lists looking for a connection or something and it broke my heart. There were so many kids, much much older than we feel like we can successfully parent and integrate into our family at this point. Who were in foster care because of an already disadvantaged position and at 14, 15, 16 almost ready to be on their own, without a family. I stopped looking and started crying and climbed into my husband's arms. We felt helpless because the need is so great and we can't take them all. We had to settle in our minds that a drop in the bucket, no matter how tiny, still causes ripples that can change the world...

A Little History

Since Chris is on a business trip to Canada, I can now sit here and think deep thoughts without interruption. Although, I already had some coffee today and since I don't want to be up all night, I am going to forgo the distinct pleasure of writing and thinking deep thoughts while drinking coffee.

So I thought a little history might be in order for anyone who is surprised by our adoption decree. Even when Chris and I were dating, adoption was something that we have talked about. And through the years it was something that we mentioned as a "someday maybe". But as time went on, the idea grew more nebulous and less powerful. We have been (and are) absolutely, perfectly and completely happy with the two kids that God has already given us. And it was our choice not to have any more. (We have NO desire to live through another pregnancy). But we have always felt like we had space in our family and hearts for more (nebulous again).

A few months ago, a seemingly random decision to go to a church we had visited a few times before, set in motion a series of events and "coincidences" that opened our thoughts and hearts to the idea that this was something we needed to do, now.

So here we are now, peeking over the edge and wondering exactly how to take the very first concrete step. We are a little nervous. (We did after all get turned down to adopt a dog in Boulder.) But very excited...

My very first post

I feel a little bit like the girl in Julie&Julia starting a new blog. (Although, I do not have an obsession with Julia Child or French cooking.) But I am starting a conversation without knowing what the outcome will be. Okay so this blog stuff is harder than it looks, especially with your husband sitting next to you offering random and strange suggestions and opinions about the content of your writings. Which is not at all in the least bit helpful, I might add. So rather than attempting to figure out the best way to say what I am thinking, I am going to just spit it out and let the mess be what it may. (At which point the husband offers his best sound effects) We are pregnant. Well, not really in a literal sense of the word. More in the metaphorically sense of the word. The start of our story is less important (and more winding and meandering than I feel like documenting here) than the journey. So our big news is that we have decided to pursue adopting. And this blog (hopefully) is going cataloge our thoughts and feelings and steps along the way.