Roscoe the Fat and Etc

Roscoe is getting fat.  I don't know how. We have placed him on half rations and hid the dog food bag.  He likes to break into the compost bin and rummage for goodies, and in a pinch, he will also steal the chicken's food, or Ella's.  He's been sitting under the table at night with soulful brown eyes pleading for a nibble.  But his ribs have long since disappeared and his daily walk doesn't seem to be helping any.  The vet told me to try and keep him lean to protect his joints, but he just really wants to be a fat dog.  It makes him happy.  I tried to reason with him but he doesn't like to talk about it.  He simply looks at me reproachfully and turns his face away, so I am left viewing his expansive rear end.

Roscoe the fat

Our chickens have started gradually laying a few eggs again after free loading during the winter.  I started making threats to them about the stew pot so they appear to have had a chicken meeting and drew straws to set up a rotation to deliver just enough eggs to stave off becoming dinner.  Chloe's chicken wasn't a part of the meeting.  She's the queen after all, and has a very dedicated advocate.  She may live forever, free loading the whole way.

We found out on Valentine's Day that the little girl we have been pursuing in adoption has already been spoken for.  We didn't know her yet and we only had one little picture and a description, but still, we had been praying for her since August and imagining her as a part of our family.  We are so grateful though, that she has a forever family, but there is still a sense of loss.  I spent the weekend growling like a momma bear awakened early from a winter nap as I sorted through emotions.  We feel somewhat adrift because we thought we were heading somewhere specific, and now we've been redirected but we're not sure where that leads. 

Joy

I did a research project on C.S Lewis when I was in high school.  I remember he described joy in his autobiography, Surprised By Joy, almost as if it were a living, breathing thing.  How perfectly ordinary moments had caught his breath with a beautiful, aching feeling he defined as joy.  He put words to a feeling I had all through my childhood.  I remember sitting there thinking, what is this?...It almost feels like homesickness, but I am home.  It's an experiencing of beauty, but that moment of experience makes you long for more in a way I can't find the words to describe. I remember not knowing how to handle the feeling, almost like your heart is taking up too much room in your chest.

milk in a glass bottle...
tree lines alleyways...
jars of homemade jam...

A couple of years ago I started making lists of things that make me happy.  I've always loved lists.  In fact, when I'm overwhelmed or stressed, just the process of making a list makes me feel better.  Sometimes at night I can't sleep until I have made a mental list of all I need to accomplish the next day.  Having set things in a tidy, orderly space in my mind, helps me sleep. I have lists piled up in drawers that were hurriedly written on the backs of receipts, napkins, and take out menus.  I always make a grocery list the same way, folding a piece of paper in half and only writing on one side.

red mushrooms with white polka dots...
sharp crayons...
weathered barns...
hazelnut coffee on a cold morning...

I started writing my happy list because I wanted to express all the little moments during the day that filled me with joy, and capture them somehow to stop, and savor.  It's like filling a jar with beautiful memories that I can take out at any time and remember the scent and flavor of something that brings me joy.  It started to awaken in me such an appreciation for all the little ordinary moments of life that I feel very rich indeed.

metal watering cans...
thunderstorms...
mossy covered rocks...

It's sorta like being happy.  But happy in a way that you can taste and smell, and breathe in.  Happy in a way that makes sense because it's not focused on something to be attained.  It's focused on the gift of now.  And now, I do know what to do with that feeling...I go write it down.

ruffled aprons...
wildflowers...
apple blossoms...
the scent of freshly mowed lawns...

Clean-ing

We're back on the Clean Diet for our yearly detoxing.  I think that we probably eat fairly well in general.  I limit our sugar, at least to half, in every recipe, and often use honey, dates, or maple syrup instead.  I buy only organic meat, and lots of organic fruits and veg, but we do love butter.  And cream.  And bread, and my extra dark fair trade chocolate that I have a taste of occasionally. (sigh)  I have a cup of tea nearly every day, and sometimes a cup of coffee as well.  For at least a week, we are doing a mini cleanse and eliminating a lot of things that we love (like chocolate, dairy, gluten, caffeine...) as well as adding two liquid meals a day.  Chris grudgingly agreed to go along with me.  And really, this is mostly for his benefit, because with all of his travel this year, his dietary regime got kicked to the wayside.  (When you are in the boondocks of Texas working at least 12 hour days and the only restaurants have wilted iceberg lettuce as their veggie choice, who could blame you really.)

No whining allowed. 

The Food Critic in My Kitchen

*Pictures by Aidan Cummings*

I cook for two food critics every night.  They are budding chefs and their favorite shows to watch on YouTube (no cable here) are invariably cooking shows (with an occasional foray into Shaun the Sheep).  So the nightly routine goes a little something like this...You could have added a bit more spice, I think...Hmm, I'm tasting a bit of lemon, I like how that complements the dish...Maybe next time some pancetta for a salty flavor might kick things up a notch...You should have smoked the gouda first.  Sometimes I'm advised to never make the dish again, but still applauded for my effort.  Sometimes I get high marks from the whole table.  And sometimes I still have to threaten something horrible to get them to finish their food.  The darling husband is getting into the game now as well.  It used to be that he happily ate whatever I made, just because he was so grateful to have someone cook for him.  Now, however, he has decided to start having an opinion as well.  I'm not certain that I like this new discerning palate. 


Taste everything! -Chef Anne on America's Worst Cooks

I was recently chastised from a small person for *gasp* using a premade pie crust and once nearly set the table on strike for cooking Indian food from a mix.  Fortunately, the wee ones like to cook almost as much as they like to critique and "let's play Iron Chef" will send them into the kitchen every time. I've taken to having them taste test, and add seasonings if needed,  because making them a part of the process means they are much more likely to gobble something down.  Some perfect Saturday mornings I'm greeted in bed with a cup of tea, and the smell of pancakes sizzling or breakfast burritos being created. 



How many times do I have to tell you?  Use more seasoning! -Chef Anne

Most times, it's so fun to have little foodies in the house who like to try interesting things, but I confess there are certainly days I wish I could open a box of mac and cheese and not be greeted with open revolt.  


Not that!! -Chef Anne

And for the record, I think our pasta maker hates me.


I've never met a stick of butter I didn't like. -Paula Deen

Happy cooking.  And happier eating.  One final quote from Paula Deen on cooking competitions-We're gonna spank their bottoms until their nose bleeds.

Ski Lessons

I taught my kids to ski this weekend.  I'm not an amazing skier.  In fact, my entire history consists of one terrifying trip from the top of a mountain pleading-Dear Jesus, please let me live-and last year, two lessons from a friend. 

Aidan was a little frustrated after two (!) trips down the bunny hill that he wasn't picking it up faster. And then Chloe was a bit frustrated that it wasn't clicking quicker for her. Cue inspirational speech and a break for poppyseed rolls. This is the part where I told them that they were going to be amazing, but nobody starts something new and is the very best from the beginning.  But that they would be amazing because they would not give up and would learn to believe in themselves.  I think it's so good to try new things and be stretched out of our comfort zones. Persevering past the "too hard" point to the place where you start to get it, and to believe in yourself is empowering.

 

After lunch, Chloe and Aidan wanted to ride the lift together, by themselves.  At that point, Chloe was still wanting to hold onto me past the first steeper slope as her security blanket.  Best choice of the day was to let her go with her brother. Aidan took off in a snow plowing fury and I watched from the bottom as Chloe fell.  I wondered what she would do, and I saw the spark clear as day that she decided she'd be darned if she let her brother beat her. In a moment she hoisted herself up, and was tearing off after him.  And from that moment on they were an inseparable team.  They came down beaming at their newfound skills.  But bigger than that, my littlest bird gained something special as she learned to fly, and this momma learned that sometimes a little push from the nest might be the most loving security blanket of all.
 

Back to Life

Okay, because I know you've been waiting for this.  Here is Esther Sparks new music video and Happy New Year!

The Other Esther

It's not very often that I meet other people with my name.  I never had that problem in kindergarten of having to be called Esther H to differentiate between Esthers.  Sometimes, I've heard of someone's grandmother being called Esther, but never anyone my age.  Until a couple of years ago, when her blonde haired, blue eyed daughter became friends with my blonde haired, blue eyed little girl in first grade.  And there she was, another Esther.  A musical, born in a castle with a Scottish accent and lover of restoring broken things, and broken people, sort of Esther. 

Probably one of my favorite things to photograph is something that tells a story.  Something that lets you glimpse behind what you can easily see and wonder about what comes next.  I was tickled pink to be asked to do the photographs for Esther Sparks & the Whiskey Remedy's new single coming out on January 1st with a vintage vaudeville theme.  We met on a gorgeous fall day for the final filming of the music video.

Esther Sparks & the Whiskey Remedy

Yes, that's my son in a tutu.

The Cast

Esther & Darren-the stars of the show. (Not sure why Chloe looks a little scared in the background)


There was lots of music, and dancing, curious looks from pedestrians and Scottish meat pies.  You gotta be wondering by now, right?  I'll share the link to the video when it's released so that you can see all of the awesomeness for yourself.